Forgotten Vacation

Did you ever forget to go on a vacation? I never thought that I would, but unbelievably, I did!!! I got a call from a resort at Myrtle Beach that I had bought a package but never showed up. Apparently I had paid for it in 2011, and as a courtesy the resort was calling me that I would have to use the package by the end of March this year. It all vaguely came back to me.. I do now recall booking the trip and then canceling last minute as something came up. And then I promptly forgot about the whole thing. Being crazy busy with work, kids, and trying to have a social life too. You know how it is. But how awesome is it that the resort called me!!! So, Myrtle Beach, here we come. Please be warm and nice in March!

Red Stripe

No, not the beer...talking about my cozy red stripe Aqua cashmere sweater. When I bought this from the Bloomingdales outlet after Christmas on sale for $17, I almost couldn't believe it first and had to double check the price. I mean it is 100% cashmere, and the softest kind. I thought then that I'd wear it with jeans on the weekends for casual wear. But this morning was so drab I felt like some color, so I tried it with my tweed skirt, and it works for the office too. Maybe not for a heavy meeting day, but today is not one of those anyway. I'm just slaving away alone in my room, and all meetings are via conference calls. I accessorized with my Juicy necklace, and I'm still obsessed with the Falabella which is the perfect work bag for me because it fits my lunch, snacks, vitamins, reading materials, make-up, kindle, and whatever else I'm toting around. (I could never be one of those ladies who are on the go all day with just a tiny clutch.) Anyway, happy hump day, let's make the best of it!

Back to the real world

Thank God for "uniforms" when you have no energy to dress creatively... Today's uniform is a blazer, blouse and pencil skirt. My small indulgence was the cutesy leopard (or are they cougar? hah!) earrings which I fell in love with a few weeks ago. After some emotionally exhausting time and travel it actually feels good to be back in the boring routine.

Winter Wonderland

Greetings from the snow - Finland is full of it! I haven't experienced a winter like this for a few years, so this feels almost exotic... We came for a funeral, and got to experience this perfect winter weather too. The snow is beautiful, shimmering in the winter sun, and frosting the trees. Kids have had lots of fun sledding and afterwards drinking hot chocolate to warm up.

The 5 Month Project

I love my new fur west, which I finally picked up this Friday. It was quite a saga to get to this point where I am actually wearing and enjoying it. Like so many pieces in my wardrobe, this one has a story...

The vest is made from an old fur coat that my husband had bought in an estate sale for a song a couple of years ago. The coat was in good shape, but it was old fashioned and frumpy. It was sitting in our attic for a while, almost forgotten, until I saw a beautiful fur vest in blue fox at Saks, price in thousands. I loved the unusual color and it reminded me of the poor old blue musk rat coat in the attic.

I have a conflicting view on fur, and would never buy a new fur coat (or a vest) to directly support the fur business, or growing animals only for their fur. But I love the luxurious look of fur, and the unparalleled warmth, and have allowed myself some second hand fur. Yes, it may be hypocritical, and shallow, but I never said I'm perfect...

Anyhow, I took the musk rat coat to my old friends at Tsontos Furs in Mineola. It must have been in August. They took my measurements and got to work. I was supposed to go for fitting in a couple of weeks. But then life happened - travel, birthday parties, storms, crazy work schedules, sick kids, nanny problems, etc., and I did not manage to go for the fitting until December. The folks at Tsontos had called me several times, and may have even put a bounty hunter after me, for all I know.

When I finally showed up for the fitting, I was really happy with the way the vest was coming together, but it was a bit loose. I asked them to take the seams in, and I agreed to pick the vest up in a week or so. Which I did, and tried it at the shop, but even though I felt that it was still slightly too loose, I didn't say anything, because I thought that I'd already been enough of a pain in the ass customer. So I took the vest home, but I was not very happy with it. Eventually I decided that I did not want to be stuck with a vest that was almost great, so I gathered up my courage and took the vest back for adjustment. That took another couple of weeks, and I FINALLY picked up the vest on Friday. And happy to say that now it's perfect. Well worth the wait. Or what do you think?

Child Care

There are so many books about how to raise a child, from the recent hit Bringing Up Bebe, to the old staple Dr. Spock's, and I have read my fair share of them. Even though all of us parent in our own unique way that feels right to us and our kids, it's still good to read these books as they give you food for thought. Parenting is a tough business and there's definitely a lot of anxiety - I mean, you are responsible of someone's health and well being, state of mind, and making sure they grow up to be not only smart, beautiful and successful, but also happy and content. Talk about pressure! From one stage to another, there are things you need to learn, and each child is different, so even though you can use some of your parenting experience with the second and third child, you will still face unique challenges given that each of your children is a unique individual blessed with their own specific character, health issues, social ability, etc. And even though the nature vs. nurture science has shown that parenting and environment mostly affects about 50% of the child's development, no self respecting parent will give up and say that since they can't really affect their child's development that much then what's the point even trying. Instead, most of us parents spend sleepless nights worrying about how we are spoiling the future of our children, and what we can do to ensure that they can grow up in the best possible environment, with the best possible care. Which brings me to my main point... The care. The care that you don't provide yourself.

I have been the care-hirer for ten years now, and I can tell you that I've learned a lot about people during that time. Mostly I have had good experiences, but, as with everything, it's the bad ones that stick out... During this time I've learned a lot about myself too. Like that I am not a good judge of someone's character, at least not based on one or two interviews. My first impressions are not very accurate. I also really try to avoid conflict, which can back fire and lead to a bigger problem later. Sometimes it's best to nip something in the bud. I'd rather stay a little distant, and not get really involved. Especially if a person has some personal issues, I find it exhausting and stressful if I have to know about them. I don't tell my boss about the big fight I had with my husband, and I don't really want to know about the nanny's boyfriend problems either. But when the person is working in your home, and possibly also living there, the line between employer, friend, workplace, home and family gets blurred. I treat everyone as an equal, and am not a very bossy boss, but I expect you to pull your weight and have some enthusiasm for what you are doing. Or at least fake some enthusiasm. So if a person seems to have no interest in their job, or are not doing the things that I am asking them to do, don't be surprised if I will find someone else who will.

But it is also amazing to see, how each nanny has a different effect on the children. They learn something different from everyone, and not by design, but just by reacting to the caretaker's personality and character. It's a great learning experience for the kids to learn to get along with different people.

As a mother, it is sometimes painful to let go of the control and trust that someone else can care for your kids as well as you do. Even though they may do things differently. You need to "read" your kids and see if they feel happy and balanced. It is important to know though, when different is no good. You should always listen to your gut instincts, and act quickly if something does not feel right. There are so many horror stories of crazy nannies killing children, but it doesn't need to be anything that drastic or even visible. It can be just little things as not being kind, or playing mind games, or just using your power in a wrong way, being mean. I've had to fire a piano teacher because she was clearly unbalanced, and I have also let go a nanny who had such major issues in her personal life that she could not focus on the job at hand.

When hiring a nanny, a big thing to ask is whether she/he is projecting the kind of image (and I'm not talking about looks here) that you would want your kids to emulate, because, like it or not, all adults in our children's lives are role models to them, especially the person that they spend most of their time with when you're not there. Other questions to ask are whether this a person that is physically active, interested in the world, creative, kind, has a sense of humor and a real interest in getting to know your children.   

Office Appropriate

This outfit combines a statement necklace and red loafers, and still manages to look low key and relaxed, and, office appropriate. I like that! I shopped my closet for this outfit; the top and pants are both from Banana Republic a couple of years ago, the necklace is from Forever 21, and loafers ordered from Gilt last fall.

Parties

The last Holiday party took place this weekend, and now the calendar is full only with work, travel, and kids' stuff going forward. This was one of the busiest party seasons for years. And it was fun! My old and trusty Tory Burch clutch got lots of wear, as did my bling bling costume jewelry.

Restart

I love the beginning of a new year. It is a time full of optimism, and enthusiasm about being a better person. Being the best version of you. At the end of the old year you press pause and evaluate your life, accomplishments, habits, how you spend your time, and how you treat yourself and the people around you. You think where you could do better. Or at least that's what I do... And then in the beginning of the new year you can press restart, and feel good about the intention that you have for creating a better life, a better you. I don't usually call these intentions resolutions as they are more directional, but I guess you could call them resolutions too.

As I mentioned yesterday, in 2012 I had decided that it was time to stop excessive shopping. I wanted to stop wasting time hanging out in stores / malls, and stop shopping for fun, or boredom, or retail therapy... I decided to stop taking the kids to shop with me, and instead spend time with them doing other things, or nothing at all. We went to parks a lot, and in the summer to the pool, and had many lovely picnics and walks. We found a few favorite LI beachy places that we love going to. Also as a result I cooked more at home on the weekends.. Time well spent!

I will continue with this way of life. So much healthier for all of us, and my wallet is thankful, and I haven't felt deprived. I actually felt really good about not accumulating that much stuff. It's environmentally conscious, and I have not organized my closet for months (a big bonus as that is a chore that I HATE!). I also had more time to enjoy the things that I already have. And I am being a much better role model for my daughters.

This year I will take a new direction toward more health conscious Food choices. I have bought organic milk for years, but now I want to expand to more organic foods, especially veggies and fruit. The first step: buying only organic apples. One thing should be an absolute must: Each meal should contain a veggie.

In addition, I will promise myself to work out at least once a week. Now that I can, I should. I am a master in coming up with excuses to not go to the gym..but I should love myself more and exercise out of that love, to make myself feel good. I should also expand my definition of exercise. It doesn't have to be a killer training session every time, but could be something softer like restorative yoga, or something fun.. I have promised my 10 year old that we'll get xbox kinect and play "Let's Dance" and "Zumba". So that is on the to-do list now, or actually I delegated the actual acquiring and setting up to my hubby who is so much better in these things. Imagine the surprise when I asked my husband "honey, could you please buy an Xbox and kinect and set it up for me?" Ha, ha, his jaw dropped as I am so totally not a video game type person and have campaigned against them throughout the more than 20 years we've been together... But people change, and that's the whole point, right?

I'll just tack on today's outfit to the end here. Nothing new, this is all old stuff: Lacoste skirt, H&M silk top, Kenneth Cole cardi, and Anthro necklace.

Sale finds & what's inside a 2-year old mind

I managed to keep my resolution for last year and shop less. The trick was to keep kids out of stores, and spend better quality time with them, either just doing stuff home or enjoying the beautiful parks of Long Island. No hanging out in shopping malls - not even on a rainy day! Consequently I kept myself out of shops on my days off. Of course that didn't completely erase my dirty habit, but it was definitely a hindrance. Will absolutely continue on this path in 2013!

However, I couldn't be helped on those couple days after Christmas when everything goes on clearance, and they still have something you'd actually want.

I found some good stuff: a papier mâché elephant head and a cool winter cowgirl hat from Anthropologie (50% off and then additional 30%!).

As I was trying the hat on my two year old said "cow".. I am so dim I didn't immediately figure out what she was trying to say, so I just laughed and said ok. Then realizing that I was not understanding, she says "horsy". And I still don't get it. Finally she put the words together and said "cow, horsy, yeehaa"and it finally dawned on me that she was trying to tell me that the hat looked like a cowboy hat.. That little darling child.. I tell you, all the things that must be in that little smart head, that we don't know she knows. Amazing!

I picked some other odds and ends here and there, like a Missoni turtleneck from Nordstrom, that I had been looking at on the site before, only that now it was marked down from close to $400 to $150 (Yay!), and a couple (three to be exact) blazers from Zara (oh, and one from H&M). Did I really need four blazers? Maybe, maybe not, depends how you look at it... But they were BARGAINS!! :-)