Having it all

Those of you who know me, know that at some point in my life I was extremely ambitious. But then something happened that changed me and my outlook on life for good. That something was 9/11 and the destruction of the World Trade Center twin towers. I was very close to the disaster, and it really made me think about what is most important in life. I kept thinking, if I die tomorrow, what do I want to be remembered for? For having a great career - or having a wonderful family and good relationships with the people I love? I obviously chose the latter, but being who I am, I was not ready to completely let go of having a career either. So I've hung in there, through having three children in a society that does not even give you a maternity leave, let alone any support for day care, and in an environment (the financial industry) where it's normal to work 12-hour days. I have tried to make it work for me, and I've been very very lucky to have understanding bosses that have given me a flexible schedule and the ability to work remotely at times, and work a shorter week. And still it is a challenge at times, and I've been stressed out and tired... I don't think that I would still be in my career if it hadn't been for that flexibility. That is why I get slightly annoyed with the Cheryl Sandberg "Lean In" mantra. Most working women are too busy and overwhelmed to "lean in", and make the conscious choice of not doing it because the cost is too high. I know that I have. 

I've been thinking about producing an event for women in the financial industry, and in the research process I stumbled on this article from a few years ago. I remember hearing about it at the time, and it caused quite a stir and discussion, but for some reason I never read it until now. And oh boy did this hit it right in between the eyes. Every word I feel is true and considered. It's a long article, but well worth the time it takes to read it. 

The Atlantic: Why Women Still Can't Have It All by Ann-Marie Slaughter

I hope there would be more discussion in the mainstream media that is honest like this. Our society and American businesses need to have better options for combining family and work in order to not completely lose the battle of having women in the workplace and having women advance to leadership positions. I'd be happy to hear if you have any thoughts about the article or this issue of working women having it all.